Never mind statistical trends or roster matchups. A New York radio personality claims the New York Jets will topple the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday because of the “Illuminati.”
“On Sunday, the NFL Illuminati has put together a game, and that outcome has already been decided,” Carton theorized this week.
Carton believes the Vikings are “afternoon assassins” with the league’s second-best record, and if the Jets beat the Vikings, per the unfounded Illuminati supposition, it would make the Bills-Jets matchup in Week 14 juicier for the NFL.
Here’s his rationale — on video:
The Vikings are favored by three points over the Jets, a curiously small point spread for a 9-2 team at home versus a quarterback named Mike White. However, the Illuminati conjecture is obviously poppycock.
If the NFL was in the business of predetermining wins and losses — or if the “fix was in” — it would take an annual cover-up involving 2,000+ men between the ages of 21-45, countless coaches, and every referee associated with the sport. Rigging football games would require an oath of silence from thousands of people, spanning decades from every single human involved.
And that’s why the Illuminati is not present, nor is game-fixing a thing. Of course, nepotism exists in coaching ranks and whatnot, but tossing out Illuminati theories is wholly irresponsible and designed to advance conspiratorial engagement.
The Jets can beat the Vikings because they have the NFL’s fourth-best defense per efficiency metrics. The Vikings can beat the Jets because they’re 9-2 and playing savvy, clutch football to close out games.
Any “rigged” talk from New York sports media is structured to agitate and embolden conspiracy merchants.
And if the Illuminati is real — it’s not — no one has ever explained why the Vikings have the NFL’s fifth-best record, 487-381-8 (.561), in the Super Bowl era — but no Super Bowl trophies. That’s more of an outrage than Vikings-Jets wild stratagems.
Dustin Baker is a political scientist who graduated from the University of Minnesota in 2007. Subscribe to his daily YouTube Channel, VikesNow. He hosts a podcast with Bryant McKinnie, which airs every Wednesday with Raun Sawh and Sal Spice. His Viking fandom dates back to 1996. Listed guilty pleasures: Peanut Butter Ice Cream, ‘The Sopranos,’ and The Doors (the band).